. . .with yourself!
It has taken me many years to really “get” that if I’m walking around feeling self-critical, hating the image that I see in the mirror, hashing over things that I wish I’d done differently, and just over all being a grouch, then there’s little hope that I’ll be compassionate with others, or even care amidst my self-loathing.
Here’s what I call my “Fix”; my “List Fix”. Give this a try: sit down with pen and paper (perhaps you already journal, and that’s super!) and write down all the good things about yourself. Look for the good in the things you do, and have done. What are your best features? How would you market, you? Fall in love with yourself. This is not to say you must become an egotist. The realty is that we just can’t give anything, if we don’t first have it ourselves. (This also works super-good with that “difficult” person you just “can’t” like or accept).
I know that I run the risk of sounding like “Pollyanna”, AGAIN, but I’ve been called that all of my life, and I actually like her character. (smiling). Of course there will be times when you just don’t have the energy to give anything, either to yourself or to the one next to you. During those times, hopeful infrequent, you may just need a time of meltdown, just don’t make a life long journey of it.
Now on a very serious note: if all of this sounds impossible and you’d rather just go to bed and pull the covers up over your face, or worse….PLEASE, please seek professional care. You are not alone, and sometimes feeling alone needs a bit of help. I’ve been there, I’ve done that. Again, you are not alone!
Much Love, Sharon