Over the years, I’ve experienced how healing forgiveness is. There’s a quote floating around “facebook” and it suggests that resentment is like drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die.
Life is short. My husband of almost 20 years, passed from Cancer in 1998, he was only 60. He always used to say to me, “How can you forgive so easily?” Funny, because it didn’t seem so difficult for me. Paul was a recovering alcoholic who had 20 years of sobriety when he died. Forgiveness was a BIG deal in remaining sober!
When Paul died, I was emotionally raw, surrounded by grief, pain and sadness. There were two people, during this time, whose behavior created even more suffering for me and those close to me. Many of my friends and family members have told me that my anger was clearly justified. It’s been very difficult for me to forgive.
During the past 7-14 years, during times of quiet and honest self-reflection, I discovered that I’m actually pretty darned disappointed in myself for “allowing” them to hurt me, especially for so long. That said, I forgave myself, free to love and forgive the actions and the human beings. To clarify, it wasn’t exactly magic, it has taken much work and has been a process. This process is almost complete, maybe after this blog, it will finally be done.
Does it really matter whether I am right, or I am wrong? I don’t want to drink the poison any longer! I am going to continue to love myself like crazy, and I am going to love them the same. I’m going to be myself, and love that self, because for the most part it’s been a lot of fun and I still have a lot of life to live.